“Mary, you are one of the
most honest people I’ve ever met, and I admire that about you; but honest to a
fault. Living in San Juan County,
especially Monticello, that part of your personality will earn you hardships,
many you do not deserve. However, I
don’t want you to change, you are not the one that needs to change; the others
need to change, start listening and doing.” This was said to me by a man who
only lived in Monticello a short time, but was happy as a pig in a mud hole to
move away to a more populated area of Utah.
With that I looked back at
my life, not just in 2017, but in general and realized that I have changed many
times, mainly to make others happy. From
an early age, I relished the thought of visiting museums, discovering the
scientific worlds of archaeology, anthropology and paleontology. In college, I took several of these courses
and was at the New York Museum of Natural History (yes, the one from the Ben
Stiller movies) so much, all the guards knew me by name. However, I ended up putting these loves on
the shelf, listening to advisors that said there was no money in these careers,
no real future for a woman. I dragged
myself through jobs I hated, stayed in an abusive marriage as others kept
telling me, “You’ll never do better.” I
figured, if everyone I knew was telling me this, then it must be true, right?
It wasn’t until I was in
my 40s that I developed friendships with people who supported me mentally and
emotionally. I divorced the s.o.b., met
my current husband, Roy, and even he too kept telling me, “Be who and what you
want to be; don’t do things to make me, or anyone else happy.” With our move to Utah, our adventuring around
the 4 Corners region of the four states, I was able to enjoy those lost loves
from my younger years. That crazy woman
jumping up and down on slickrock, off State Highway 95, near White Canyon? Yeah, that was me as I just found dinosaur
prints, put my foot next to one and imagined what creature, from millions of
years ago, I was communing with.
In essence, what I am
trying to communicate to everyone is, have hopes and dreams, hold onto them
tightly, and get them done! Don’t listen
to naysayers and simply do as they say, put them on the spot and ask them
“Why? Why don’t you want me to pursue
what will make me happy? Why does it
have to be only your way when I know you’ve never tried to do it yourself?”
Need a little
inspiration? Watch the original Muppet
Movie (1979), about a little frog that had big dreams and pursued them no
matter what. Listen to the words he
sings in “Rainbow Connection” and realize,
“Why are there so many
songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but
only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and
some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong wait
and see.
Someday we'll find it, the
rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers
and me.”
Oh, I know I usually have
a recipe for you, but I remember when a rainbow went over a particular
ridge. I want to climb that ridge and
see “what’s on the other side?” However,
if you really need a recipe, go into the San Juan Record archives and
reread my article on “Frog Eye Salad”, sort of fits the theme, doesn’t it? Otherwise, you can find the link for the recipe right here on this food blog: http://www.comfortcookadventures.com/2016/02/dessert-salad-saga-part-two.html In
2018, find your rainbow connection and from the Cokenour family, Happy New
Year!
Mary Cokenour
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